Tuesday, February 25, 2014

The biggest obsticle I have overcome.

****This is a VERY emotional and personal post for me. If you have mean things to say or don't want to hear my personal life please click away.****
I almost didn't post this on my blog. People wont want to read this because it's raw. This is real stuff.  Like most people, you don't know that much about me, even though you might (or might not) read my blog. But I have a story. A story I used to not like to share. Now I like to share my story because I know other people out there are still fighting the battle I have overcome.

I am a survivor.
I am a survivor of Anorexia Nervosa.

Why am I posting this now? Because Eating Disorder Awareness week is this week (February 23- March 1).

First I want to share some facts with you.
-81% of 10 year olds are afraid of being fat (Mellin et al., 1991).
-A mere 10 percent of people with eating disorders receive treatment, and of those only 35 percent seek treatment from a facility that specializes in eating disorders.
-Eating disorders have the highest mortality rate of any mental illness. For women ages 15 to 24, the mortality rate of anorexia is 12 times higher than any other cause of death.
-The government doesn’t designate much funding toward eating disorder research.

My story: 
I am in 6th grade. I have always been a little overweight. But my whole family is overweight so I didn't really think much of it. My home life wasn't the greatest. You have to take a P.E. class at the middle school I went to. So there is the first time I was confronted with the locker room. I will never forget how one day my P.E. teacher told me I needed to lose weight because I was fat...I seriously went home everyday and cried. I didn't really thin I could do anything about my weight until 7th grade. And all of the sudden a girl started telling people I stuffed my bra. (We are in 7th grade here so this is obviously the end of the world because people think I am a bra stuffer.) I went to the bathroom to cry and looked in the mirror. All I saw was a big fat cow. And this was my breaking point. I just stopped eating. I would go to my room during dinner and feed it to my cat, or throw it out the window. During school lunch I just wouldn't eat. This worked for a little while and then people started noticing I wasn't eating lunch at school. So I figured out the "genius" plan to eat at lunch and go to the bathroom after and throw it up. This translated to eating stuff (not a lot) and going to the bathroom after and purging. My parents asked me if everything was okay and I would insist it was. (Even though it obviously wasn't.) I hid myself under baggy clothes so they wouldn't know a difference. I lost 35-40 pounds before my parents insisted I get help. I was so sick at this point. My menstruation had stopped and my skin was turning a weird color. I remember not even being able to eat a whole pb&j sandwich right after everything. My stomach just couldn't handle it. After a little while I gained about 20 pounds back and wasn't considered overweight for my age anymore. I struggled with spells of not eating and "recovering" all through high school. But today I am a freshman in college. I haven't had a "spell" in over a year. (THIS IS THE BRIEF VERSION OF MY STORY. I DON'T WANT YOU TO BE HERE ALL DAY FORM ME TELLING THE WHOLE STORY!)

Some days I can still feel the voices in the back of my mind telling me that I am still a cow and I need to not eat that taco. And then I realize...I am stronger than that voice. I overcame this eating disorder. One that takes the lives of so many people. Anorexia stole so much from me and my family. But I refuse to let it take over any more of my life. I want you to know that if you are struggling with an eating disorder of any kind, there will be brighter days. You can do this. I encourage you to get the help you need. 
                   -Call this toll free number: confidential Helpline at 1-800-931-2237
                   -Follow THIS LINK to chat with someone...

This year I just want to state a few things I love about myself. Its a great way to make me happy. And even if you aren't battling an eating disorder, I challenge you to do the same. -I have really cool colored eyes. -My little bit of tummy/hips help keep my pants up. -I have a lead foot that helps me drive fast. -I don't have problems with my skin (I swear I'm going to wake up tomorrow with a pimple...I just know it.) -I can sing really good when the radio is reallllly loud. 

I hope you got some sort of something from reading my story. I hope maybe you learned something from my facts. As I said before remember, there will be brighter days. 

Love Always,

(My facts were recieved from LINK 1, .LINK 2,)


  1. Wow. What a powerful story. You're such a strong person and very brave for telling your story.


  2. This is such an amazing story with a great message! Thank you for sharing!


  3. I give you a lot of respect for sharing this story! Good for you for getting the help you need and becoming healthy again.

  4. So proud of you for sharing your story- I cannot imagine how hard this was to post. So thankful for people like you raising awareness- here's too many more years without any "spells" or relapses!

  5. Wow, you are so strong and this was so powerful to read. Thank you for sharing. This post is one that will definitely help a lot of girls who are struggling right now and will encourage them. xo

  6. Oh girl thanks for sharing this, you are a strong woman! I don't think adults realize that what they say to kids can really and truly affect them for the rest of their lives. Keep going strong and know that if you overcame this you can overcome anything.


  7. What an honest and emotional post! I feel privileged to hear this story, and I don't doubt you will help other girls reading this post. Sending plenty of positive vibes your way girly!

  8. People don't realize how their words can affect you at that age, I'm so proud of you, you are so strong.


  9. Thanks for sharing your story. I am sure it was difficult. Stay positive and remember the wonderful things about yourself!

  10. xo to you on your journey. thanks for having the courage to share in hopes of helping others:)


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